A Commander's Goodbye
by eyes-of-azure
Summary: Commander Shepard's last moments after she awakens amidst the rubble of the Citadel. Some GarrusxFemshep


**A Commander's Goodbye**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bioware or the Mass Effect trilogy. Garrus line marked with an asterisk (*) is taken directly from the game and for that line I give full credit to the team at Bioware.**

The world was pitch-black. It was dark, quiet - peaceful even. I felt as if I was spinning, floating high above where my body lay amidst the rubble. Then I came to. My eyes fluttered open, gasping for breath. I could feel my lungs constricting, collapsing. The smell of smoke, metal, and crushed stone filled my nostrils. I was lying on my side, partly obscured by the mass of rubble that was my only surrounding. I tried to move my fingers, my legs…nothing. My spine was crushed. I could feel my insides bleeding, falling apart. My body was only sustained by synthetic technology and that was now rendered useless. Besides, I doubt I would survive even with the enhancements. I had lost so much blood anyway. I already knew I would never walk again.

My head was pounding and dark spots were beginning to cloud my vision. I took another shallow breath. I could feel my consciousness slipping away, but I forced myself awake. I didn't know why I bothered. Maybe it was because I had been fighting for so long that, even now my body knew little else but to fight back. I used the last of what little strength I had left to remember…what had happened? I remembered a gun firing, then a blast. I remember feeling my body slam against the part of the citadel where I was originally lifted up.

_Anderson?_ I tried to say, but my throat seized up on me.

Then I remembered he was already gone. And then it hit me, like an epiphany.

_We won._

The Reapers were dead, never to return. The galaxy was saved. Those that were dear to me were saved, except – I struggled to shut the thought from my mind entirely, but I was too weak to resist. Legion's sacrifice was all in vain, EDI's newfound understanding was turned into a lie…by me. I liked to think that I had saved more than I killed, but it would never make a difference. All the choices I made in the past seemed to invade my mind like a virus. The gunshots, the screams, the glazed eyes. Spreading, consuming me. How many lives have I taken over the years? I never bothered to count. It was always too painful. So many died by my hand – so many.

_Forgive me…_

I squeezed my eyes shut, waiting for the inevitable to take me away from all the death that surrounded me. Then like a quiet breeze, moments of my life flashed before my eyes. Feelings of pain, hope, loss, and joy encompassed me like never before. It was a surreal understanding. I had my regrets, but my achievements outweighed them. I was a soldier, a Commander. There would always be consequences, I knew that much. But the Reapers were gone. I was brought back for one purpose and that purpose had been fulfilled. I was not needed anymore.

Then my body convulsed for a moment and I saw Garrus standing before me. Was I hallucinating now? It was hazy, but I could see every fine detail of his face, of his body. His eyes sparkled brightly, his sniper rifle hoisted on his shoulder. He smirked at me in a teasing sort of way. I was leaving him behind, wasn't I?

His words hit me like a punch to the chest, _"Come back alive. It'd be an awfully empty galaxy without you."*_

I could feel a warm tear trickling down the side of my face.

_Garrus_, I tried to say but my words were mute, _I'm sorry_.

I could feel myself slipping away. I knew this feeling before. I tried to fight it, tried to stay awake, but this time I lost. For a moment I saw a flash of smiling faces. Faces I recognized that were so dear to me. Everything I did was for them, for all of them. They knew that better than I knew it myself. I closed my eyes and I could feel another shallow breath escape my lungs.

And deep in my innermost being, I knew that something more lay in store for me.

_Garrus…I'll be waiting_.

There was the sigh and then the slip into darkness. I could feel myself leaving my body. Everything was...fading.


End file.
